Week 436 // When E’re I Pleased

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I think of it now and then
I had a life up in the trees
I had the animals for friends
I’d come and go when e’re I pleased

And oh my soul
I’d shout to the moon
I’d never grow old
Or so I had assumed

Then I traded this for that
My bargain won both love and gold
I put a feather in my hat
It flew the first wind that took hold of it

And oh my soul
I’d shout to the moon
I’d never grow old
Or so I had assumed

I think of it now and then
I had a life up in the trees
I had the animals for friends
I’d come and go when e’re it pleased me

And oh my soul
I’d shout to the moon
I’d never grow old
Or so I had assumed

Notes
The approximate cutoff between my youth an my maturity occurred sometime around the moment that I emerged from the forest. What I mean to say is that I was fairly aimless and unrefined before I left New England for Brooklyn. It really wasn’t all that long ago in the grand scheme of things; I was a late bloomer after all. Still, back then I knew not of responsibility toward another human being, and I barely knew how to take care of myself. Between bouts of deafening madness, I was having an incredibly fun time. Then I got my shit together, more or less.

I love the forest, and I love that it is the touchstone for my youth in my imagination. I believe it will also be the touchstone for some future moment of my experience. In the meantime, however, I’m left to idealize it. Somewhere in my memory, I’m like a Disney character with birds and squirrels perched on my shoulders. Honestly, it’s not all that far off from the truth. I’ve had profound encounters with nature, and it has informed my view of the world in powerful ways.

This is a song about looking at that idealized encounter with nature and youth with a wry and knowing gaze. It’s also about understanding the great fortune in my personal growth and actualization. Sometimes I miss where I was. I’m glad I’m where I am. I’m looking forward to where I’m going.

~M.E.

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