Week 43: To Recognize The Sun Again


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Jesse Mitchell Lindsey
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It was an ice age
So like a grave
And we’re still clawing our way up and out of it

And I would move like that
I’d be electric on the earth
And then the night would come

And I should feel this way
Like every fiber is brand new
Like my heart is waking up

And never before
But when you were young
Did you move in the world
Like a sensitive one
Like you felt where you were
Like you felt everyone

And if this burden is never lifted
Will we recognize this sun again?

And were we ever
Just artists and lovers
Living out lives and surviving the best we can?

And never before
But when you were young
Did you move in the world
Like a sensitive one
Like you felt where you were
Like you felt everyone

Notes
 width=I didn’t intend to write something about the anniversary of the 9/11 attack, but as the weekend wore on it was so very present in my mind that I couldn’t write about something else. I decided that if I were to do this, I would do it from a different angle. I didn’t want to write something political or patriotic. I just wanted to write what I felt, and I wanted to do it abstractly. Like literally every American of my generation, I remember that day as our collective loss of innocence. There would never be any going back to the way we felt before: the way we felt safe and unburdened. The way we felt like children. The decade that followed pushed recollections of those old feelings deeper down as the world’s reactions to the event spiraled ever away from rationality and kindness, and ever toward continued calamity.

I felt bottled up yesterday. It was a kinetic frustration of some physical reaction trapped inside of me. For me, the only remedy to this feeling was movement. I went outside and I ran hard, and while I was running I felt a decade’s worth of misplaced innocence reaching out of me and trying to touch the world. It was like my skin was cracking to reveal some kind of light underneath. The world has been a hard place these last ten years, and it has often been difficult to want to have anything to do with it. But yesterday I felt connected. Perhaps it was because people weren’t trying to avoid the elephant in the room. People were looking right at it to remember what they lost, and maybe in doing so, some of us were able to remember a glimmer of the way things used to be.

Here’s hoping your Monday doesn’t totally suck.
~Jesse

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